'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
