I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
