We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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