Small penises have feelings too.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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