i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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