Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Randomize
