margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
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