my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
