Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize