how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is Oprah even human
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
the raccoons are back...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
