idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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