Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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