I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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