Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
that's an acceptable place to lick
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize