I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
