just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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