You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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