Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
