your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
