who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
