Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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