you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
