UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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