K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
