I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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