Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
