He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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