So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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