The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
