I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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