There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize