he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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