Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize