just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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