yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
