first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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