You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
