Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
