In the future we'll all be gay
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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