a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
