when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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