i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
