so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
