White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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