Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
