So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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