I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
