I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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