I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
