she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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