oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
