let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
