pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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