I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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