id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
