Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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