Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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