At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
