Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
