I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
