i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
