Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
