who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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