she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
