oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
