Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All the doctor said was why
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
