What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
