if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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