My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
