she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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