i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
