No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
