just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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