One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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