When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
